


Snapshots

by AvengersCompound (emilyevanston)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 1940s, Angst, Bucky Barnes Bingo 2019, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, Reader-Insert, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-07-28 15:08:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20066041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/AvengersCompound
Summary: Before Bucky Barnes became the Winter Soldier he had a life and plans for the future.  A lot of them involving you.Bucky asks you and your friends out, but you aren’t so quick to fall for his charms.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> @buckybarnesbingo - K2 Delinquent

You sat on the stoop with your friends Dolores and Helen, just people watching. It was one of those hot summers where the air was thick and wet and clung to your skin. A group of kids and wrenched open a fire hydrant and were playing in the water as it sprayed over the street.

The three of you were gossiping as you drank cold soda and tried not to let the heat bother you. You were a little bored. The gossip was always the same. Mrs. Henderson was cheating on her husband with some man half her age. That Bianchi boy had been stealing people’s mail. Talking about whatever boy Dolores or Helen were currently sweet on. It was the same every time, so when you saw James Barnes and Steve Rogers strolling up the street together you already knew what they were going to say.

“That Barnes boy is so dreamy,” Dot said leaning back against the stairs.

“He sure is. I’ll never understand what he’s doing hanging out with that Rogers boy.” Helen snarked.

You rolled your eyes. “I’m sure everyone wonders why we let you hang around us too, Helen Holmes.”

Helen scoffed. “I didn’t know you were so in love with little Stevie Rogers. I’ll keep my mouth shut from now on.”

You turned to argue with her when Dolores cleared her throat. “Hi, boys.” She said in a sing-song voice.

You turned around to see both James and Steve loitering at the base of the stairs. Steve looked as shy and uncomfortable as he always did when faced with interacting with girls. It was strange given that whenever you watched him alone with James he seemed completely at ease. Not to mention the fact he would pick fights with just about every guy who looked at him funny.

In contrast, James looked as cool and in control as he ever did. He leaned against the stoop and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “Mornin’, ladies.” He said as he tapped one out. “We were just going out to Rockaway Beach. Wanna come?”

“You think any of us are dumb enough to go anywhere with the likes of you, James Barnes?” You scolded.

Steve snorted and turned away from the group as he stifled a laugh.

It didn’t seem to phase James though. He lit the cigarette and took a long draw. Stevie moved away from him a little so he was standing upwind. “Well, I don’t know, Dot? You dumb enough to come with us to Rockaway Beach?”

Dolores leaned in and whispered something to Helen and they both began to giggle. “Yeah alright, Buck. We’ll go.”

You let out a huff and shook your head as your two friends descended the stairs. “Sorry, doll. Guess you’re on your own.” James said offering his arm to Dolores.

“Don’t get anyone knocked up will you?” You snarked as they headed back up the street making him laugh loudly.

* * *

After your friends ditched you, you went about your day, mostly trying to keep out of the heat. You did some errands for your folks and earned some money watching one of your neighbor’s kids for a few hours.

You decided you as a treat you’d go get a frosted chocolate and some fries at the diner on the corner. You took a copy of ‘Gone with the Wind’ with you and you were just sitting by the window reading and minding your own business when someone banged on the glass beside you. You looked up to see James Barnes grinning at you.

You rolled your eyes and he laughed and came in, sliding into the booth opposite you.

“How was Rockaway Beach?” You asked.

James stole one of your fries and bit it in half. “It was fun. I spent three dollars trying to win Dot a bear. Didn’t happen. Meant we had no money for the train so we had to hitch back on the back of a freezer truck.”

“You made little Stevie Rogers ride in the back of a freezer truck? What is wrong with you?” You scolded.

James chuckled and leaned back in his chair. “You sound like his ma.”

The waitress came over with a pot of coffee and a cup. “Hey, Buck. Can I getcha something?”

“Nah, it’s okay, Betty. I’m tapped.” James replied.

“It’s fine, sugar.” She said pouring him a cup. “Want some pie?”

“Thanks, doll. You spoil me.” He said.

He watched her walk away before turning back to you. “How come you didn’t come?” He asked.

“You know very well why I didn’t come with you, James.” You said rolling your eyes.

“What? You don’t like fun?” He teased.

“I have a reputation, thank you very much. And so do you.” You said. “I’m fine with the way mine is right now.”

Betty brought over the pie and put it on the table in front of him. “Here you go, Bucky. On the house.”

“Thanks, Darlin’. You working tomorrow?” He asked.

“No. I’ve got the day off.”

“Maybe we can find something to do.” He said. “I’m sure there’s some trouble we can get into.”

Betty blushed and nodded. “I’d love that.”

“Great. I’ll come by in the morning and pick you up,” he said.

Betty nodded and almost skipped back over to the counter where she started talking rapidly with the other girl on.

Bucky whistled and took a sip of his coffee. “I didn’t take you for the kind of gal to listen to rumors.”

You stifled a laugh and took a sip of your drink, keeping your eyes locked with his. “How far did you get with Dolores today?”

James laughed. “Who Dot? We just necked a little. If you asked me last week it might have been different.”

You shook your head, but you couldn’t help but smile. “You’re hopeless, James.”

“Why don’t you call me Bucky? Everyone else does.”

“Alright, Bucky.” You said, taking a forkful of his pie. “I’ll be honest. I can see why all the other girls have a thing for you. You’re handsome, charming but also a little bit dangerous. You’re also kind and you see people for how they really are. I know that’s why you’re friends with Steve Rogers. You don’t feel sorry for him like everyone seems to think. You just never judged him by his health.”

“So, go out with me then,” Bucky said. “Like you said, I’m a real stand up guy.” He said the last bit with such teasing in his voice that you had to suppress your own urge to turn into a giggling idiot too.

“I don’t trust myself with you, Bucky. It’s as simple as that. I have plans and I don’t want to be steered off course by the likes of you.” You said.

He smirked and took a bite of his pie. “Well then,” He teased. “I guess you’re gonna be the one I marry then.”

You snorted. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”

Bucky chuckled. “What was that?” He teased.

You felt your face heat up. “Don’t tease me.”

“I would never,” Bucky said. “It was cute. Besides, you’re gonna be my wife someday. Just you wait and see.”

You shook your head and stood up. “In your dreams, James Buchanan Barnes.”

Bucky jumped up and followed after you. “Bye, Betty!” He called. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Buck!” She called back.

He followed you into the street as you began making your way home. “Hold up,” He called. “Let me walk you home.”

You chuckled and turned back, waiting for him to catch up with you. “How can you say you’re going to marry me in one sentence and organize a date with someone else in the next?”

“You’re not ready yet.” He said, playfully. “Until you are there’s no reason to retire from the game.”

You shook your head and tried not to laugh. “You are hopeless.”

“Don’t you worry though, as soon as you’re ready, I’ll be all yours.” He teased.

“Oh, I’m sure, for what? 10 minutes? Your stamina couldn’t possibly last longer than that could it?” You teased back.

“You are a very bad girl.” He said taking his pack of cigarettes from his pocket. “That’s why we’re such a good match.”

You let out a breath and rolled your eyes. “Bucky, if you’re going to keep harassing me about this we’re gonna have a problem.”

He held up his hands in defeat. “I won’t say another word. Just know, one day you’re gonna see it. Then it’ll just be you and me, darlin’.”

“Sure, it will.” You said as you got to your stoop. “Thanks for walking me home, Bucky.”

“Anytime.” He said. “I’ll see you around.”

“Be seeing you. Enjoy your date tomorrow.”

Bucky smirked and lit his cigarette. “Oh, I plan to.” He said. He nodded to you and continued strolling down the street to his own home. You watched him for a little bit before heading inside. That boy was trouble and you wanted no part of it.


	2. Chapter 2

You sat in the window of your bedroom looking out at the street below. The weather had started to cool off with the start of school but it was still warm enough to want to try and entice the breeze in. The English homework you were supposed to be doing was sitting on your lap as you just stared vacantly out at the street.

You spotted Steve and Bucky wandering up the street together. Summer had involved a large amount of both of them hanging around you. Bucky had been good to his word, he never mentioned how he planned to marry you. He never even asked you out. He just kept showing up. Usually with Steve tagging along with him. You weren’t sure if he was using Steve as a comfort buffer for you - if he was there they could ask you to the soda fountain or diner and it not be a date so he was keeping his word about not asking you out - or if they just came as a package deal. Either way, you did like Steve being there. You could see why they were as close as they were.

Bucky didn’t stop seeing other girls though. He knew you wouldn’t say yes to an actual date and so he would ask out girls he knew would. It didn’t bother you really. He was trouble but as long as he was out seeing other people, he wasn’t bringing it your way.

Steve spotted you first and waved up at you. Bucky looked up to see what had drawn his attention and waved too. You returned their greeting with a small smile.

“Have you done the Engish homework?” Bucky called up to you.

You held the book up in your lap. “Doing it.”

“Can we come up and work on it with you?” Bucky called. You saw Steve say something to him and wipe the corner of his eye with his fist. Bucky seemed to reply in a gentle way and rubbed his shoulder. Steve nodded and they both looked back up to you again.

“My dad’s home but if that doesn’t bother you, sure.” You called down.

They shrugged and headed to the door of your building. It wasn’t long before there was a knock on your door and you heard your dad go and let them in. You could hear them talking at the door but not what they were saying and a moment later your dad was knocking on your door.

“These boys say they’re here for a study date.” Your dad said.

“That’s okay isn’t it, Dad?” You said. “Bucky and Steve are both tops of the classes.”

“They are?” He asked suspiciously eyeing Bucky.

“Well, I’m better in Science and Math. Steve is better at English and History, sir.” Bucky replied, putting on his charm.

“Alright,” Your dad said. “But the door stays open.”

“That’s fine, dad,” You snarked. “I hadn’t planned to fool around with both of them while you were in the house.”

“Watch your mouth, young lady,” He warned before heading down the hall.

Bucky flopped down on your bed, while Steve took a seat at your desk and began to pull his books out of his bag. Steve’s eyes were a little red-rimmed like he’d been crying. “I like how you specified while he was here.” Bucky teased.

“Don’t you go getting any ideas, James Barnes.” You scolded.

He laughed and put his hands behind his head. “Oh, so it was the both of us part. You’d fool around with one of us while your dad was here?”

You bit the inside of your cheek and shook your head as you stifled a laugh. “He needs to know who to point the shotgun at if we’re having a shotgun wedding.”

Steve blushed hard and looked away from you while Bucky roared with laughter. “Oh, darlin’, no shotgun necessary. I’ll marry you very willingly.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Buck, we talking about this.”

“Fine!” He said holding his hands up. “Fine.”

“We were going to work on the English right?” Steve asked.

You nodded and shifted on the window ledge. “That’s right.” You agreed. “Are you okay, Steve?”

He wiped the corner of his eye with the ball of his hand and nodded. “Yeah, it’s just… never mind.”

Bucky looked at your door and back at you. You got up and went to the door, quietly closing it. “What is it, Steve?”

He shrugged. “It’s ma. She’s in the hospital again. It’s not looking good.”

You could tell he was trying to stay stoic. Steve knew how people saw him and he hated looking weak in front of anyone. Especially girls.

“Oh man, Stevie. I’m sorry.” You said, coming over and hugging him. He awkwardly patted your back until you let him go again. “I never knew my mom.”

“What happened to her?” Steve asked.

“She died having me.” You said. “Try carrying the fact you killed your mom with you, your whole life. I think that’s why my dad is pushing me into getting into college so much. Doesn’t want me to get married and have kids.”

Bucky whistled. “Fuck…”

“Buck,” Steve scolded. “Language in front of a lady.”

You laughed. “Yeah, James. Watch your mouth.”

Your bedroom door flew open and your dad stood there staring between the three of you. “I told you to keep the door open.”

“The wind blew it closed. I was just getting up to jam it open.” You said quickly.

He eyed you suspiciously before heading back down the hall. “You call me trouble.” Bucky teased when you were sure your dad was back in the living room.

“So David and Goliath?” Steve asked.

You nodded and went and picked up your book. “Right. The Philistines stood on a mountain on the one side…”

* * *

As the sun started to set the three of you finished up with the homework that had been set and the boys packed up their bags. “You wanna stay for dinner, Steve?” You asked.

“Just Steve, what the hell?” Bucky protested.

“I figured you’d be expected home, James.” You snarked.

“Well my ma is expecting both of us, but I could call her if you’re cooking. Are you?” He asked.

“Yes. I usually do.”

“Well, then,” Bucky said, getting up and nudging Steve. “Whaddaya say, Steve? Wanna stay for dinner? You can get an idea of what it will be like when you and your wife come over for dinner with us in the future.”

“James, that’s your last one and then I’m telling my dad you tried it on.” You warned.

He held up his hands again. “Woah, killer. No need to play dirty.”

“We should probably get home. Your ma has probably already started on dinner.” Steve said and looked at you. “I liked studying with you though. You think we can do it again?”

“Yeah, Steve. That would be good. My dad would be happy if my grades go up too.” You said. “We could make it a regular thing. You can both stay for dinner after.”

“That would be swell, doll,” Bucky said grabbing his bag.

You walked them to the door. “See you tomorrow,” Steve said as he headed to the stairs.

“Yeah, see ya,” Bucky echoed, touching the back of your hand as he followed after him.

You headed back into the apartment once you lost sight of them and went straight to the kitchen. “I’m starting on dinner now.” You called to your dad.

He got up and came into the kitchen. “What’s going on with you and those boys?” He asked.

“Nothing. We were just studying.” You said.

“I want you to watch yourself around that Barnes boy,” He warned, folding his hands over his chest. “I’ve heard about that boy. He’s no good.”

You huffed and shook your head. “I’ve heard them too, dad. You don’t have to worry.”

“Good. I don’t want to be having to send you upstate because you got caught up with him.” He said and went back to the kitchen. You rolled your eyes and started cooking. What was it about being warned by your parents not to do something, that immediately made you want to do it?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Square filled: @buckybarnesbingo, C3 Free Space

Bucky had been making faces at you for half the art class. It was distracting, to say the least. The little quirks of his eyebrow as he whispered to the boys around him. Occasionally he’d bite his bottom lip as he gazed in your direction and then start actually doing his work. You were about to start up an actual paint war in the classroom so you could cover that smug look on his face.

Only just when you were about to snap, a boy came in. “Japan just bombed Pearl Harbor!” He announced loudly.

The room broke out in chaos, everyone talking at once. Bucky and Steve huddled together whispering and when the teacher dismissed the class, they grabbed their stuff and rushed out. Normally it was impossible to get Steve or Bucky out of art class. Steve always had one more thing he wanted to add to whatever he was working on and Bucky would hang around flirting with any girls still around. Today they couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

You packed your bag and headed out. You expected to see them somewhere during your trip home but they were nowhere to be seen.

It wasn’t until the next day that you saw him again. He showed up at your apartment a little after midday, knocking on the door like the place was on fire.

“Is your dad here?” He asked when you opened the door to him.

“No. He’s gone out for the day.” You said.

“Can we talk?”

You nodded and led him down to the living room. He sat down on the sofa chair, perched on the edge and tapping his hands impatiently on his thighs. “What’s going on?” You asked as you took a seat.

“I enlisted in the army yesterday.” He said.

“You what? Why?” You said, shocked. There was so little time before the end of school, and he was smart. You’d gotten into Barnard and were starting the following year and he’d always had similar marks to you.

He sighed and collapsed back into the couch. “I kinda thought I might anyway. I got into college but… I can’t afford it. If I served then it’s a job, I might even be able to study.”

“There are other ways. Scholarships.” You said. “I have a scholarship.”

“I was looking into it. It was a long shot. I always knew that. That’s why I was boxin’. I was putting my winnings aside. But, darlin’,” He rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands. “I can’t just sit here and do nothin’ while the world is falling apart. Steve and I went to enlist after school.”

“Steve enlisted?” You asked dumbfounded.

“Yeah. I mean… he tried. He was 4F. He was obviously going to be 4F.”

He sat up again and looked at you as you stared at him, not even sure what to say. You weren’t even sure exactly why he’d come to tell you. You were friends, but not exactly the closest of friends. You most just studied with him and Steve once a week and maybe you’d see them on weekends.

“I go on Monday.” He said. “They’re sending me to Wisconsin.”

“James!” You gasped. “Why… why didn’t you wait until school ended?”

“It pretty much has.” He said with a shrug.

“Oh, James.” You sighed, patting your chest. “I don’t… I don’t know why you’d just put yourself in harm’s way like this.”

He sat forward and put his hand on your knee. “Yes, you do.” He said.

You nodded and frowned a little. “I guess so.”

He moved beside you and took your hand, playing with your fingers, quietly while you leaned against him. Neither of you wanted to say it, but you knew you were both thinking about the fact that there was a strong chance he might never come back if they sent him overseas to fight. “I want you to do some things for me.” He said, finally breaking the silence.

“What are they?” You asked.

“Well, first, I don’t want you to let anyone stop you from doing something amazing with your life. Get your degree and do something with it. You were right not to ever say yes to me. Don’t get fooled by smarter boys because they have degrees or fancy cars.” He said.

You felt tears prick your eyes and you shook your head. “Don’t talk like this is going to be the last time you see me.”

He chuckled. “Don’t worry, darlin’.” He said, putting your hand against his chest. “I’ll be back. It’s just training first anyway. Besides, I told you I was gonna marry you. You gotta be my rich scientist wife so I can be your pretty toyboy, right?”

You snorted and he wrapped his arm around you. “In your dreams.”

“That’s right.” He said. “I will be dreaming about it.”

A tear escaped and he cupped your jaw and wiped it away with his thumb. “What else did you want me to do?”

“Keep an eye on Stevie. Since his ma died he only agreed to live with me and my folks ‘cause I begged him to. I don’t think he’ll stick around when I’m gone. He’s mad about being rejected by the army too. I know what he’s like and he’s gonna start picking fights with everyone. I know you’re going to be in Manhattan, but I don’t know. Just check up on him from time to time. Make sure he doesn’t do anything too dumb. He doesn’t have anyone else.” Bucky said.

You nodded. “I can try.”

“Thanks, doll.” He said. “My folks are having a going-away dinner, thing, tomorrow. Will you come?”

“Sure, Buck.” You said.

* * *

The following night you had dressed up. Putting on the nicest dress you owned and spending that little bit longer perfecting your hair and makeup.

The event was a strange and surreal mix of somber and excited. His dad was extremely proud of his boy and kept going on about how many of this or that person he was gonna end up killing while he ruffled Bucky’s hair and put him in a headlock. It was a little morbid how he kept going on about it.

His mother, on the other hand, looked like she was attending a funeral. She kept bursting into tears and needing to be reassured by Bucky that everything was going to be fine.

Despite the fact Bucky had been having dinner at your place every week for a year now, you’d actually never met his parents before. It was weird doing it under these circumstances. They both definitely seemed to be under the impression that you were dating or something. His mother kept telling you, that the two of you would have to look after each other while he was gone and his father had very quickly thrown out that there was a chance you could organize the wedding before he was deployed. You hadn’t wanted to argue with them. Not under the circumstances at the very least. Thankfully Bucky was at least smart enough to look embarrassed when it happened.

His siblings were mostly fine though his youngest sister, Rebecca wouldn’t let go of Bucky’s hand for anything and ended up falling asleep in his lap. Steve kept to himself most of the night and was a little surly when engaged.

“I just want a chance to do what everyone else gets to. People are out there risking their lives and I’m stuck here watching.” Steve scowled as you sat beside him. “Bucky taught me how to fight. I know how to fight.”

“I know, Steve. But it’s better this way. You don’t actually want to be there.” You said.

“Don’t tell me what I want!” Steve shouted.

Everyone turned and looked at him. He puffed out his chest and stood up storming off to the bedroom he shared with Bucky. Bucky sighed and went after him. You sat awkwardly with your drink. He emerged a little later and smiled at you. “That kinda put a damper on the whole thing.” He said. “It’s late, can I walk you home?”

You nodded and stood up. “Thank you for having me.” You said.

“Of course, dear. It was lovely to finally meet you.” His mother said getting up and coming over to hug you.

“Don’t smother her, ma.” Bucky teased.

“You’ll visit while James is away?” She asked.

“Of course, ma’am.” You said.

“Good. That’s good.” She said.

She followed you both to the door and you waved when you got to the bottom of the steps. When you were sure she was back inside you elbowed Bucky. “What have you been telling your family?”

“Just the truth.” He teased. “About how you were my future wife.”

You couldn’t help but laugh and you elbowed him again. “You are incorrigible.”

“Sorry about Steve.” He said.

You shrugged. “My fault. He obviously has strong feelings about going.”

Bucky nodded. “He doesn’t like bullies.” He said. “He’s gonna get in trouble.”

“Can’t be worse than the trouble you’ve gotten yourself into.” You said.

“No. You’re probably right about that.” He said. “I’ll be okay.”

You reached over and took his hand, linking your fingers with his. He looked over at you and smiled. “What’s this? Pity handhold.”

You shook your head but you wouldn’t look at him. The truth was, you had started to wonder why you had kept rejecting him. You weren’t some notch on his belt he was waiting to carve. You had been important to him. Why could you only just see that now?

He stopped walking and turned you to face him. “I will be okay.”

You nodded and his hand went to your chin, tilting your face up to look at him. “I will.”

“Yeah, you will.” You said. More for him than yourself.

“I’ll be back soon enough. We can explore whatever _this_ is before I ship out if you like.” He said.

You let out a soft breath. “This is a momentary lapse of judgment.”

“Oh, I see,” Bucky said. “Well, I should take advantage while I can.”

He leaned into you, his lips slightly parted. You bridged the distance, bringing your lips to his. He kissed you slowly and tenderly. There was nothing lewd about it. He kept his hands on your arms, they didn’t roam or try to take any more from you. He pulled back slowly and you chased his lips for a moment before opening your eyes, to see his blue ones twinkling down at you.

“We’ll definitely explore that more when I get back.” He said.

You shook your head. “I’ll be in my right mind by then.”

He chuckled and put his arm around your waist and continued the short walk to your door. “Thanks for coming tonight, doll. I’m glad you were there.”

“Of course, Buck. Travel safe tomorrow.” You said.

“It’s not the travel I’m worried about.” He said and kissed your cheek. “If you wanted to wait for me, I’d be okay with that.”

You smiled and rubbed his arm. “Might have to if your ma is going to be planning our wedding.”

He chuckled and you headed inside, a tight feeling in your chest. You knew he’d be back, but nothing about this felt good to you at all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Square filled: @buckybarnesbingo, Y4 Reunion

You were running late. You’d been on Summer Vacation for a few weeks now and the internship you’d gotten with Stark Industries had brought you home to Brooklyn for the Stark Expo. Last night work had kept you late which had led to you sleeping in today. Trying to rush to get ready had not helped at all and just meant you had to reapply your makeup three times before you actually made it out of the door.

You almost slammed directly into Bucky Barnes as he was coming into your building. It took you a moment to realize it was even him. You hadn’t seen him in two years and had no idea he was back from his training. He was in full uniform and looking just as handsome and cocky as ever. Maybe more so. The uniform fit perfectly.

“Bucky?” You asked still slightly bewildered.

“Hi, doll.” He said, that same beautiful Bucky Barnes smile he always had spread over his face.

“Bucky!” You squeaked when it finally kicked into place and you slammed into him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest.

His arms closed around you and he leaned his cheek on you. He’d been writing to you. Not regularly by any means. But every month or two you’d get a letter delivered to you at college telling you how things were going in the Army. How he’d made Sergeant. Asking about how you were. Or about your studies. Often he’d ask about Steve.

“I didn’t know you were getting in. How long will you be here?” You asked.

“Just today. I ship out tomorrow.” He said. You squeaked again and held him even tighter, blinking back the tears that were threatening to break.

“No.” You said. “But that’s not enough time.” 

“I know it’s not.” He said. “But that’s the way it goes. I was hoping I might be able to take you out tonight. Maybe we could double with Steve?”

You groaned and pulled away from him. “I can’t. I have work.”

“Can’t you call in sick?” Bucky whined, tugging on your skirt.

You winced. You wanted to. You really, really wanted to. It had been so long and getting to hang out with him and Steve like you used to, would be so good. Plus there was the whole, complicated feelings thing you wanted to work out and he was shipping out. You wanted to go with him.

But this internship was one of the most prestigious ones around. They never gave them to women. You were extremely lucky to have it and you couldn’t risk it.

“I can’t. It’s not a paper run. It’s with Stark.”

“You got it?” He asked, his eyes lighting up. “Really?”

You smiled at him feeling a little warm inside. He was proud of you. You hadn’t expected that. “Yeah. I’ve been working for them for about a month.”

He pulled you into a tight hug and you melted into him. “Maybe I can see you when you’re done?”

You looked up at him. “Oh. Yes.” You pulled back and dug around in your bag, pulling out a handful of tickets. “These are to the Stark Expo. Bring people.”

“Thanks, doll,” He said and tucked them in his jacket.

“I gotta go, I’m already late. I don’t finish until it closes. Find me after.” You said.

“Will do,” He said as you dashed down the steps. As you turned and made your way up the street he called after you. “Do you know where Steve is? I went to his place and he was out.”

“Try the cinema. He likes to catch the newsreels.” You yelled back without breaking your stride.

* * *

The Expo hadn’t wound up until late and you’d ended up being walked home by a few of the men who were working as interns too. You’d stayed up for a while waiting for Bucky, but as the night became the next morning you gave up waiting.

As you dozed on your couch, your heart felt heavy. Of course, Bucky didn’t owe you anything. You had always made it extremely clear that you and he were not an item. He had probably gone on the double date with Steve that he’d wanted to and he’d gotten lucky or he was getting lucky now. Of course, he would. He was shipping out tomorrow. He should have fun.

You just wished you’d gotten to say goodbye.

You weren’t sure if you were asleep already or if you were just almost asleep when there was a tapping on glass that snapped you awake. You jumped up and rushed to the window, letting in Bucky who was peering in from the fire escape.

“Boy, am I glad you weren’t in bed yet.” He whispered as he climbed inside.

“What are you doing here? I thought you must have decided not to come.”

Bucky went to answer, but you shushed him and hurried him to your room, closing the door behind you. “Dad sleeps pretty soundly but you still better keep it down.” You whispered.

Bucky took off his hat and put it on your desk and started to take off his jacket. “Sorry, I’m so late.” He said quietly. “Steve and I took a couple of gals to the Expo. Man, you work there? I couldn’t believe my eyes. That flying car! I bet everyone will be in flying cars after the war is done.”

“So you came here when you were done with your date? Thanks, Buck. Way to make a girl feel special.”

“Oh hey, now. It’s not like that,” he said. He shrugged off the jacket and hung it on the back of your chair before approaching you and running his hands down your arms.

“Oh yeah? What is it like?”

Some of the light seemed to go out of his eyes and he sat down on the edge of your bed like the wind has been knocked out of him. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

“I wanted to have some fun you know? One last night out with my best friend. I asked these girls. Connie and Bonnie. Only Connie wouldn’t even look twice at Steve. I tried to get him to have fun, but the colder Connie was the more shut off Steve became. Then he decided he was gonna just ditch us and try and enlist again.” His voice broke at the end and you sat beside him and wrapped your arm around his shoulders. He leaned against you, letting your take his full weight. “I just wanted to have some fun. To dance a bit and be with my best friend. And the little punk couldn’t even go one day without committing a felony.”

“Well, it’s Steve. You know what he’s like.” You said rubbing his back.

“I just wanted one night.” He said nuzzling at your neck. “What if I don’t come back? What if the last time I see Steve it’s him telling me that trying to sign up for the army is more important than me?”

“Why didn’t you just find him after? He’s done this so many times. He’s normally around sulking after.” You said. “Or me? I was waiting for you.”

“I tried to find him. I don’t know where he went. Maybe they caught him and he’s in jail. Fuck. What if the last time I saw Steve was before he got put in prison?” His arm had draped over your stomach and his hand opened and closed on your hip. “I went dancing with Connie and Bonnie. I just wanted one good night to look back on. I’m sorry I didn’t find you.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine. What happened with Connie and Bonnie?”

“We danced. I walked them home.”

“Oh yeah, right.” You scoffed.

“I did. You want to know the truth, doll? I pretty much only ever walk them home.” He said.

“Oh, you liar.” You teased, pushing him a little.

“It’s true,” Bucky said with a hollow laugh. He flopped back on your bed and pulled his hair. “Oh, I mean, I’ve felt a few girls up, but I don’t wanna ruin anyone’s reputation. I’ve seen too many girls sent upstate to live with their aunts.”

You lay down next to him and faced him. “You know everyone thinks you did, right? Any girl who went out with you knew exactly what you were doing to their reputation.”

“Yeah, I know. And ain’t that a peach? Everyone thinks I screwed my way through half of Brooklyn and now I’m gonna go get myself killed as a virgin.”

“You’re not going to die, Bucky.”

“Yeah, think positive, doll,” He said.

“Bucky,” You said, reaching over and caressing your cheek.

“I was so excited about today. It was going so well. I just feel like this is all some kind of sign.” He said.

There was something about the pain in his voice that made you so badly want to make this okay. You didn’t know how to do it though. So you leaned in and kissed him. His hand went to your hair and he deepened the kiss. A small hum escaped your lips and you started to tug his tie off.

He pulled back and looked at you. “You don’t have to do this.” He said. “I don’t want to get you, of all people, in any trouble.”

You shook your head and kissed his neck, your fingers moving a little more frantically this time. “We can be careful. Besides, you said you were gonna marry me. This just means you have to come back and make an honest woman out of me.”

He chuckled softly and his hands ran up under your nightdress and skimmed over your ass. You frantically unbuttoned his shirt and started working on his belt.

Something about your frenzied need to show him that everything would be okay in this broken and ridiculous way rubbed off on him. He rolled over and pulled your nightdress off before resuming kissing you hungrily. He groaned and began to grind down against you, his cock hardening and straining at the thick fabric of his pants.

Your whole body trembled like a small electric current was running through it. You freed his cock and pushed his pants down. He groaned as he rubbed his erection against the thin fabric of your panties.

“You sure you want this?” He whispered as he rutted his hips against you.

“Yes. Yes, Bucky. Let’s be each other’s firsts.”

He pulled your panties down and lined his cock up with your entrance. He buried his face in the side of your neck, breathing heavily. “And last, doll.” He whispered and thrust into you.

You winced and made a pained noise as he’s body tore into yours, a sharp pain bursting in your cunt. He pulled back and looked down at you. “Did I hurt you?”

You furrowed your brow. “Just give me a second.”

He slowed and began to kiss you deeply, his hands running over your body. As you adjusted and the pain began to subside you rolled your hips up and he began to thrust. It was fast and erratic. Neither of you really knowing what you were doing, while you both tried to keep quiet. Your bedsprings creaked and in the back of your head, you worried your dad would hear you. Mostly, you just wanted Bucky to feel something good on his last day. To have something to take with him that meant something.

Has his breath became shallow he pulled out and came on your stomach in hot ribbons before collapsing down beside you. You grabbed some tissues and wiped your stomach clean before curling up in his arms.

“Was it okay? Did it hurt?” He whispered.

“I’m okay. It was fine, Buck.” You replied.

He started to cry against your neck and you held him close rubbing his back. “I’m so scared.”

“I know. But now you have to come back, don’t you?”

He nodded. “You’re gonna be my wife. You’ll wait for me?”

You kissed his brow and then his lips. “Yeah, Buck. I’ll wait for you. I’m gonna be a famous scientist and you’re gonna be my toy boy.”

He chuckled through his tears and wiped his eyes. “Can you try and find Steve tomorrow. He’s gonna be angry about not being able to go.”

You nodded. “Yeah. I’ll track him down.”

The two of you dozed in each other’s arms for a few hours before he snuck out while it was still dark. Before he left the two of you stood by the window, him cupping your jaw and looking down at you. “I love you. I always meant it when I said I wanted to marry you.”

You nodded. “I know, Buck. I love you too. Come back and we’ll have that life.”

He leaned in and kissed you deeply. Everything her felt poured out of that kiss. His fear, his love, the melancholy that you’d only reached this stage together when he had to leave again. When he let you go he climbed out through the window and you watched him jog off down the street.

You never did track Steve Rogers down the next day, though you did see the rather changed version of him on new reels. Bucky Barnes wrote you from the frontlines, but the last time you ever saw him, was when his shadow disappeared up your street in the small hours of the morning.


End file.
